why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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