College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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