spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
