Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
