Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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