3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
