I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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