Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
