its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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