and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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