Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
