White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
