I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We named our party play list daddy issues
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
