not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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