is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
