his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Please don't give away my fajitas
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
