Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
he's gonorrhea incarnate
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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