We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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