$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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