Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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