Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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