Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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