69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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