I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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