singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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