GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
