so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
