opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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