i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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