so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
