What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
i now understand why vodka
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
