U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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