if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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