dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
