Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
