Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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