ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
