so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We need to get me chipped asap
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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