On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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