Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
