I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
