White coat. Heels.
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
