So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
