I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
only you would photoshop your dick
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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