he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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