so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize