The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You need Xanax blowdarts
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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