yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
