I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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