how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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