She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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